#eli. ╱ » maybe all we'll ever be is a half finished story. chaotic and without an ending.

[intcritus]

a last kiss before one goes away. // Eli @ Lucio

some part of lucio was aware this is goodbye. for how long, the witch isn't sure, he just knows that with the way eli touches him, it's starved, it reeks of longing and loss. but this is goodbye. they're not together anymore, not really, but this feels final somehow.

the very thought makes his chest ache -- lucio doesn't hesitate in reaching out, pressing his mouth to the summoner's. there's tenderness in the touch of their lips, the witch not bothering to stem the flow of tears that wet his lashes and spill over. don't go. i'll miss you. stay safe. don't die, please. none of these words taint his tongue but he conveys them anyway he can.

wrapped in eli's embrace, strong and sure, it doesn't feel like goodbye, it feels like the end of an era, the end of everything they'd been holding onto with frayed threads.

but no matter what, even while indulging in this last kiss, the taste of smoke and tea leaves maes him clutch at the fabric of eli's shirt. lucio isn't aware of how long they stood like that; him hefted in eli's arms, forehead's pressed together and staring into each other's eyes, lips swollen from kisses. but eventually, eli lets him down and lucio lets go, reluctantly, stifling the sob that threatens to erupt from his throat.

the next few moments feel like slow motion. eli kissing his forehead, and lucio's hand reaching out but stopping mid-way because the summoner is already leaving. every step seems to be painful, but they know it needs to happen. he hates this. god, it feels like an open wound. and when the summoner is no longer within his sight, lucio closes his shop, hands trembling and the tears are falling more freely now, hysterical laughter hiccuping from him. it's okay. he's fine. he'll just go on. eli would be safe. if...if they never saw each other again, it was okay. loving and losing wasn't the end of the world, but why was his heart so broken ?

[dcwnrisen-aa]

new tag for sis.

[intcritus]

random nsfw tidbit for lucio: while he does enjoy the use of sex toys to satisfy any urge he might have, he does crave skin contact. but he's reserved himself to simply living off memories of eli's touch.

[intcritus]

Random thought: Would a forget about me spell work on Eli and Lucio? No, especially not Lucio. He loves Eli and he will never love another or feel as safe with anyone else. So if he was ever spelled to forget him, he would feel it. It'll be like missing a huge, most important chunk of himself.

[intcritus]

Those tight hugs they give you after coming home, and you just squeeze back and melt in them because they are your home>>>>>> / @nvrcmplt

the shop closed a little later than normal, but lucio was used to that when nocturnal creatures were his most prominent customers. but like most customer service jobs, he was completely drained, and mother nature had made him a bit more snappy than usual. restocking some of the herbs on his shelves, and putting away paperwork that he'll definitely be saving for later, he startles when he realizes he's not alone anymore. how had he missed that ?

looking up, confusion and annoyance flickering over features before he's pulled against eli, those arms tight around his frame. for a moment, lucio grumbles, grabbing at eli's forearms. but the man doesn't let go of him and eventually, lucio lets himself be embraced. if he's being honest with himself, it's exactly what he needs right now.

after several short moments, he sags against eli, burying his face into his lover's shoulder, arms sliding around him. fuck. damn hormoes. the long those arms are around him, the more he melts into eli's embrace, and the exhaustion of the day finally greets him. the problem now is that the witch doesn't want to let go.

there's no pressing matter to address, no warning feelings or visions to worry about. so why can't they stay like this ? later, he'll question just why they ended up like this, why he ended up falling asleep in eli's arms and why when he woke, there was a heating pad against his lower tummy. but right now, he soaks in the summoner's scent, quietly content in relishing this moment after a tough day. it was all he needed. eli….eli was all he needed, he silently admitted, and thought made him clutch the summoner tighter, nuzzling deeper into the crook of his neck.

[intcritus]

❛ you. it’s always you. ❜ //Eli @ Lucio

why do they keep ending up back here ? lucio will admit that he's partly to blame. no matter what happens in their lives, no matter how much grief they gave one another, they were connected by more than their feelings. and tonight wasn't an exception. they'd been arguing, not bickering, but it was more so out of frustration. and lucio didn't have the energy or emotional capacity for it today. it doesn't stop from eli caging him against the counter, and lucio grits his teeth. trying to avoid a confrontation because he wants better for both of them but they still keep circling to this: he could protect himself.

❝ ━ i'm not impervious to being hurt. i've survived this long. you think i want to send you off and you don't come back ? you want to protect me, but you don't stay, eli. i wake up and you're gone. i know i broke us up, but it sucks when you're not here. ❞ tears sting his gaze and he turns away, fingers curling into his palms. ❝ ━ maybe....maybe we just weren't meant to be. maybe....i shouldn't be such a weakness for you. ❞ every word is stuck in his throat, voice becoming a painful rasp as tears fall down his cheeks because he can't look at the summoner when he says such things.

they feel like lies, heavy on the tip of his tongue. ❝ ━ forget me. live as you please. do as you please, not because it's me, but because you deserve peace of mind. you deserve someone who can stand at your side. i obviously can't give that to you...so...so you're free, eli. you're free from me. ❞ his heart cinches painfully, the words are a lie, everything he's said up until now is going to be a lie. but he can't help but feel like this was for the best. they both were too co-dependent on one another. the space would do them good, right? Right? / @nvrcmplt

[intcritus]

while lucio isn't religious, he doesn't sleep well until he sends a prayer out in the universe that he'll never miss the chance to say a last goodbye to eli before their ends. no matter how much he scolds the man, he cares about him infinitely.

[intcritus]

Me thinking about that ask for Eli and how hard body dysmorphia hits Lucio and how he misses how Eli was always there to not make him thinking about it. How he made him feel loved and just seen and validated. And then thinking about on those night after they break up, how much Lucio hates even seeing himself in the mirror...

[dcwnrisen-aa]

[  EYE CONTACT  ]  *  your muse gazes deeply into my muse’s eyes. //Eli @ Lucio

scolding eli for bringing his injured self to his closed shop in the middle of night wasn't uncommon. neither was the worry and fear that caused his heart to sieze, but what could he do ? throwing out the bloodied bandages, he heaved a sigh. ❝ ━ luckily, you won't need any stitches. but you have to be careful, an inch deeper and it would've hit something important. ❞

the near silent sound of the witch's barefeet on marble fill the shop as he shuffles around, putting things in place and when eli says nothing, lucio turns to look at him and finds him close. the summoner had been sitting but now he was close, nearly in lucio's space, bandaged hand pressing into the glass counter by his hip. this close, lucio remembers just how much he enjoyed eli's scent, how he craved that closeness at one point ( still did but it hurt too much to keep remembering ). how eli had never shied away from crowding him up against the bookcase, kissing him silent, of hiking him against him and making him crave things he never had with anyone else.

and the way he was close now, staring into his soul, lucio can't help the way his mouth goes dry, moving back a little so the counter is at his back, needing the distance. his pulse skyrockets as the silence elongates, eli's gaze unwavering and lucio wants him to stop. to say something, anything. once upon a time, he would've given anything, absolutely anything to have that gaze on him. and he remembers the way it made him fall apart but now it was making him nervous, like there were unsaid things in his ex's gaze but the summoner's lips weren't moving.

stop. please stop. i don't know what you want. i…i can't do this right now. i'm barely holding on by a thread. stop. tears dampen his lashes and lucio is the first one to break that gaze, looking away, and rubbing the back of his neck. ❝ ━ since you're here, you might as well spend the night. you look tired and no sense in travelling when you're haggard. i'll, um, spell the shop for the night. ❞ fingers squeeze the back of his neck hard before slipping around eli to head to the back of the shop to deal with something other than unresolved tension.

[dcwnrisen-aa]

❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜ //Eli @ Lucio

the witch thinks he does pretty good at this acting eli mentions. but truly, he's doesn't hate the guy ( maybe ), he's just a fucking nuisance and if lucio could spartan kick him into next week, well there would be no complaining. that doesn't mean they aren't like a moth and bright lights, combusting whenever they get too near. maybe it's some mad, magical chemistry, or maybe it's just the irresistible charm lucio emits ( heh, he's kidding ), but it's something and he's always left reeling, snarling and snarking at the summoner. it doesn't deter either of them and it's exhausting and exhilarating in tandem.

❝ ━ you say that now, but you come crawing back in a few days for a new fix. clearly, my hate hasn't affected you yet, ❞ lucio retorts, sliding his oversized shirt over his head, slanting a glare at the other before huffing. ❝ ━ besides, don't you have someone else to bother ? someone's moonlight to block ? ❞

[intcritus]

"is it true what you said? that i don't matter to you?" //Eli

Lucio jerks back as if struck, lashes blinking over his gaze before he turns his attention to something else. ❝ ━You know what they say about eavesdropping, Eli. I would think you'd know better. ❞ Had Eli been privy to a damning part of a conversation he shouldn't be eavesdropping on ? Should the witch clear up the misconception before this turns into something that neither of them need.

Wouldn't this be the perfect out for them both to finally part ways ? That would be best, wouldn't it ? So why can't he talk ? Where did this sudden lump come from in his throatand why was it so heavy against his tongue ? In the end, all the witch does is shrug, wanting to miguidedly believe that Eli knew him well enough to know better, that Lucio would never say something so careless unless he was trying to convince someone to believe a bold-faced lie.

❝ ━ I think you should be careful about being followed from now on. I can handle myself, but you might be getting sloppy and being sloppy means you'll get caught. I don't want that for you. ❞ The truth was, the person who'd come bac moments earlier had been just a little too nosy, asking about Eli and his whereabouts, saying they'd seen him skulking about a time or two. That they seemed closer than all his other customers. So Lucio had lied, gotten irritated by being questioned about his ex, about someone who could be in danger if he ran his mouth.

The witch didn't care what happened to him but he loved Eli, and that meant Eli was under his protection, so if he had to tell a lie every now and then, he would do so realistically even if it cut him to the core with every lie. ❝ ━ Would you even believe me if I told you that everything you heard was a lie ? You look like I've betrayed you. ❞ But I didn't. I would've died protecting you, don't you realize that ? He turns away to hide the tears gathering in his lashes, ❝ ━ Believe what you want. I don't have to defend myself to you. ❞ / @nvrcmplt

[intcritus]

Lucio loves Eli, that's just something he'll never get over. He mightve been the one to break them up, but the love he has for that man is untouchable.

[intcritus]

me thinking about lucio having rings engraved for him and eli that he still has but keeps them safe even when the thought of seeing them hurts him because he knows even though eli can never truly be his, that the summoner will forever own his heart.

[intcritus]

No thoughts, just Lucio sometimes waiting impatiently for Eli to drop by because he misses him terribly.

[intcritus]

"you are evil. like a hobbit." Eli @ Lucio

there were some instances where eli and lucio definitely butted heads, whether they were a couple or not, this had always been a thing. truth be told, being a little shit to eli really made his day, even when he did manage to irritate him. like now, kicking him out of bed, at the ass crack of and used his magic to have the man dance around like a chicken. after about five minutes, he finally lets the summoner go, falling back into cool sheets with quiet giggles.

❝ ━ a hobbit ? i can't be a hobbit, my feet are too pretty. you've better insults, eli. wait, are you saying this because i'm smaller than you ? ❞ eyes narrow to slits and he gets to his knees, pointing a finger at the summoner, mouth pursed, ❝ ━ i'll take out your knees for that, just wait. ❞

[intcritus]

[ 022, a gazebo while it's raining. ; setting prompt ; eli x lucio ]

he's exhausted -- too many sleepless nights and certainly not enough energy to expend when his magic ebb and flowed after a long week of helping unruly customers. and tonight was turning out to be dreary, downright foul with the thundering and the rain.

the shop was closed, but he didn't leave; though, in truth, it was more that he didn't want to. eli hadn't shown up for nearly a month. any other time, he would tell himself good riddance, that he didn't care, but it's a lie. gods, it's such a fucking lie and worry is thick in his throat as he stands beneath the gazebo, staring out into the puddles of water and mud, hoping to see the summoner. hoping with every inch of his cracked heart that eli would spawn out of nowhere, haggard and sheepish and let the witch scold him half-heartedly.

one hour turns into two. then the sun disappears below the horizon, with no sign of his ex and he swallows past the lump in his throat, shoving down the worry that continues to fester. it's true, he can hate eli all he wants, but this ? this deep-seated agony of not knowing after settling into the routine of having him here every once in a while. knowing that he'd be here, joking, watching him, just his presence alone made the nights lighter.

and he denies that it matters, denies that it affects his mood but lucio can't function right now. his magic sparks, curling around him like a cool weight, reminding him to calm less he cause a mini-earth quake with his unsettled emotions. it'll be okay, he has people after him, so he's probably hiding. he'll come by when he gets the chance. it's a mantra he continues as he steps back inside the shop, trembling hands curling into fist. he spells the shop, though keeps the door open for eli and dips into the back.

some part of him is just a little glad that he transformed part of his shop into a little home, since it was just him, but the bed was lonely tonight, and yet even as his head hits the pillows and the curtains shut themselves and him away from the moonlight, lucio can smell eli on his pillow, on his sheets and it makes the witch curl up beneath the covers, letting himself fall asleep to the scent even as his chest tightens with unease.